Will Allison

Powergirl

2007-03-28T22:26:08Z

Thought I should post something. I never finished my Supergirl drawing, but when I did the SG one I also did a Powergirl image as well. Since the SG meme's pretty well died out now, but the PG one's only slightly past its sell-by date as of this writing, figured I'd post it up.

I decided to do a redesign to give her a more traditional superhero costume. She's the cousin of the Golden Age Superman (long story), so I copied the shape of his shield symbol for her. The blank yellow still evokes her "boob window" without threatening any catastrophic wardrobe failures. The rest of the outfit's pretty staid; I never understood why a fist-first hardass like Powergirl was always all flashing thighs and cup-spilling cleavage. I liked this meme because there didn't seem to be the weird political undercurrents the Supergirl meme had. I covered up Powergirl in my drawing because it made sense.

The whole meme started here: http://mooncalfe.livejournal.com/27229.html Go look there for more, and see a ton of really great artists!

Blogging the Sept 06 issue of Vogue.

2006-08-25T14:50:49Z

Holy shit Vogue is a pit of ass-stink. Before I start, let me make it clear: I look like what Ted Kaczynski would look like if he made pies instead of bombs. Therefore, I can only look at Vogue through the "curious outsider" lens. Were I a 15-year-old girl, I would probably get an eating disorder immediately upon touching the pages, since the only women depicted in this magazine are at least 6 foot tall and at most 105 pounds. I'm sayin' these bitches be mad skinny, ya'll. To that end, I say to fashion designers: do you really think your 14-year-old cabana boys will really wear these clothes? If not, then why are you making this shit, since it would look horrible on any human being with hips?

In addition: why are your current style beacons the television shows "Rhoda" and "The Facts of Life"?

This fucking thing must be like 98% ads. In that vein...

The Gap ad: Jeremy Piven-- I love when you play a douchebag on "Entourage". You don't have to extend that persona to EVERY SINGLE THING YOU DO IN YOUR LIFE. I saw that show where you went to third-world nations, jerk.

Mia Farrow: "Smart Blur" is the greatest Photoshop filter, huh?

Andrew Marc ad: Oh wait, maybe "Median" is the best filter? It hurts my eyes and won't make your clothes any more interesting.

Jordache? KOHL'S? You spent money on ads in Vogue? You are deluding yourselves. Next we'll see Sears spending $300,000 a page in an attempt to make themselves look upscale.

Though it can't be that hard, since every purse I've seen in this mag looks like a giant hog's testicle with a logo stamped on it. (And a chain attached somewhere.)

And jewelry in this is Goodwill-level. Is that shit carved out of driftwood or something?

Balenciaga: Is that coat made out of Play-Doh?

next page of Balenciaga ads: Oh, fuck YOU, Balenciaga. You used to be cool, but you totally sold out. Any skirt that looks like Strawberry Shortcake would wear it is NOT high fashion.

KEDS? With raggedy edges? I swear: Sears. Mark my fucking words.

Is it just me, or is Kate Moss wall-eyed? I swear I've seen her in like 28 ads, and she's looking east and west in every single one. "Cocaine's a hell of a drug," says my optometrist.

Andre Leon Talley: I truly and unironically respect you for being the most flamboyantly gay black man on the face of the planet. A lot of gay black men are "down low", but you are willing to wear a satin muu-muu in public. I think that makes you a (badly-dressed) role model, of sorts. Unfortunately, you're also a giant suppurating asshole. Please die in a nailgun accident.

Nostalgia: For Warren Beatty? He's a prick. When he got old enough to suffer erectile dysfunction, it set the cause of women FORWARD 12 years. No really, there was a party and shit. "Challenges to Roe v. Wade? No problem; Beatty's out of the picture, things are going okay."

Michael Kors: Now, I'm a hillbilly from Wal-Martistan that knows nothing of this "fashion" thing you rich folks speak of, but I remember Kors being something of a "bon vivant" in the fashion world. So why's he designing clothes that look like Honor Blackman's rejected wardrobe from the "Avengers" series? I have friends who wear A-line dresses; they don't look like walking turds while doing it.

Apparently fur is super-okay now, since it's on like every fourth page. Apparently all those small animals got fucking uppity, and it's PAYBACK TIME, bitch.

A Pea in the Pod ad: Hey preggos! Now you can look just as shitty as anorexic women!

The Nordstrom ads look like they were drawn by James Jean, if he got into a debilitating car accident that gave him brain damage and forced him to learn to draw with his feet.

Holy shit, even the Moschino clothes look shitty. Hey Moschino, you're supposed to be dressing slutty Italian chicks, not designing dresses that look like inflated trash bags.

Banana Republic ad: looks like meth addicts working in the Google office.

Isaac Mizrahi loves Jackie O. so much that he wants to dress every single middle-class hausfrau in America JUST LIKE HER.

A Payless shoe store ad. HA HA HA, Sears is just around the corner!

An article about how New Orleans is still completely fucked. Wow, I didn't really know about that Vogue, since I don't have eyeballs or ears with which to see or hear news. Hey, maybe you should just read this shit out loud to Andre Leon Talley and spare the rest of us. You could run another Payless or Keds ad with that page!

Hey, a Dillard's ad section! I think Dillard's sponsored a Spider-Man promotional comic back in the 80's where Spidey saved the Fort Worth Stockyards from some dumb villain. If I'm remembering wrong, don't correct me; it's the only thing keeping me from burning Dallas to the ground. I remember that comic being really insulting, though; like everyone in Texas was a cowboy, and shit. Watch your ass, Dallas.

Beyonce's in an ad for House of Dereon. Those clothes are ugly, Beyonce! Take them off! Then do a little dance for me, awww yeah...

There are rich folks in India, who'da thunk it? Oh wait, there are rich people wherever there's a ton of poor folks to exploit. I'm sending for my Che Guevara t-shirt in the morning, so you'll know I'm a Commie twat on sight.

Hah hah, they're wearing X-Ray Specs in the Versace ad. The goggles do nothing for Kate Moss though, she's still wall-eyed.

That Fendi bag looks like a spittoon. Or umbrella stand.

This might be the most positive thing I say in this post: if they were remaking "Flash Gordon", that Roberto Cavalli dress would be fucking fantastic. It is so horribly awesome.

Next page: Lesbians? You've got your hooks in me, Cavalli. You're my main man!

Men's Vogue: "You asshole penis-owners don't have sufficient levels of bulimia. We aim to correct that."

An article about how the new rich folk trend is philanthropy. HA HA HA HA HA (repeat for rest of post)

Guess ad: Is that bitch wearing a hair net? Are they trying to tell us hair nets are cool now? Anything a school lunch lady is required to wear is not cool. I'll let do-rags slide; when LL Cool J wears them they don't look totally ridiculous. But hair nets? Anyone who says that shit is fashionable should have all of their mansions burn down simultaneously.

Giuseppe Zanotti ad: Your logo fails. Also, the model you employed has the largest head I've ever seen on a person ever. She's like a fucking Mardi Gras costume. If you're going to shove unrealistic images of women down our throats, at least spare us the sideshow crap. (I wouldn't mind if she was a midget or lobster girl though, those people have character.) That said, that lady got paid 50 grand to lay around in a crappy dress and think about the Poincare Conjecture with her gigantic brain-meat while someone took her picture, so I can't really laugh at her...

Juicy couture ad: You have let me down. You used to be about the sweatpants with stuff written on the ass; I could count on you to cut through the noise of Vogue with the clear tones of skanky, big-assed hoes. Now, you look like every other fucking thing in the magazine, and your models are scrawny and white. Also, your bags look like hog testicles.

Article: "What's your Shape?" Whatever it is, they're going to make you hate that shape profoundly.

Another Beyonce House of Derron ad: The outfit's better, but I specifically requested nudity. Beyonce would be far, far more fashionable buck naked. You can't improve her by putting clothes on.

Ladies, if you're an "X-shape", you apparently need to dress like Molly Ringwald in "Pretty in Pink". Who did you piss off, anyway? (My guess is Andre Leon Talley.)

"The Shrink Fit": If you're hot, only buy clothes by Italians. You'll still look like crap, but you'll also look really easy, and that's the important thing, isn't it ladies?

Stella McCartney ad: Moss still wall-eyed. Wearing a hog testicle with giant rivets.

A diamond belt-buckle with a pot leaf. It's not my culture, I shouldn't feel co-opted, but somehow I still feel it. If you buy this belt and wear it, I hope a dope-smoker with a sharpened screwdriver mugs you for it.

Cesare Paciotti ad: Hey, that girl's grabbing her breasts! Too bad she's so sickeningly underweight that her breasts have long since melted away. Maybe she's grabbing her ribs from hunger. Sexy, sexy hunger.

Ladies: If you're a "Triangle" shape (i.e., you have hips like a normal female), you should wear giant pants. Like Kriss-Kross. I expect you all to make them "jump, jump" post-haste.

HOLY SHIT WAL-MART HAS AN AD SECTION. This is better than Sears by a factor of 50.

The "Popsicle" shape: apparently, you have to wear a Balenciaga outfit that makes you look like a tampon. I'm not joking, red scarf and everything. Better learn to sew your own clothes!

I'm skipping a bunch of ads now, all of them make me want to cry. I don't cry though, because I'm all man, and used to facing tragedy. Even if I am posting about an issue of a fashion magazine.

Oh no, I'm getting sucked into reading the horrible articles. This is like a terrifying autopsy of female neurosis: "I'm a size 2, dare I wear skinny jeans?" "I, Mrs. Exeter, am of a certain age. Dare I wear puffy pirate shirts?" First off, you're a fucking size 2, of course you can wear skinny jeans you crazy jackass. If you were a size 28, I'd say no. And secondly, no one, of any age, should ever wear fucking poet shirts. Are you insane? Those aren't going to cover up your "of a certain age" arms, they're going to make them look ENORMOUS. And why are you hiding behind a pseudonym anyhow? Old hags don't get a name anymore over at Vogue? Are you really Anna Wintour? That would be the only way a pseudonym made sense, since every single person on the planet hopes your bespectacled head explodes like that guy in "Scanners". Go ahead, wear the fucking pirate shirt, then. Everyone else: laugh at Anna's poofy shirt.

Oh, hey: an article about an actual interesting person: Djuna Barnes, ambisexual author from the '20s-'30s who was promptly forgotten by history. So, there's a page and a half right there. And it only took 527 pages to get there.

Julian Schnabel looks like me in 20 years, except wearing shorts. Also: he is extremely wealthy. To that I say: "Hey Tubby, nice carpet."

Lanvin ad: Is that bitch dressed like a tonsil?

More articles: Apparently, lots of people write books about rich people. And therefore you should read them. I'm now pining for ads. Vogue should be 100% ads.

Another article: "Rules of attraction". Women don't know what they want in a relationship, or in the bedroom. Are you comfortable with your sex life? With your partner? Well, don't be. You expect too much. The ideal husband is a penis that burps and watches football; if you want more it's because YOU'RE the fuckup. This attractive older woman from Europe told us, so it must be true. In Europe they're so much more free than us.

"The Last Waltz": This model's clothes are all horrible. I like her hair, though. This woman is exactly 16 cheeseburgers away from being sexy.

A big run of articles on how Marie Antoinette was like Paris Hilton, only with more attempts to breed a royal heir. Big photospread with Kirsten Dunst, including a dress that looks exactly like Hedorah.

Big article about how Pablo Picasso was very influential. Influential stuff is expensive.

Apparently, "volume" is the watchword for this fall. Women, it no longer matters which painful eating disorder you have: you are going to look fat no matter what. That bubble skirt is going to make sure of it.

Tartan is the new "haute grunge" look. Accessories are "brazen and tough" (read: hog testicle, chains hanging off).

Oh crap, looks like we've run out of anything else to talk about. There were some articles and ads, but it was the same crap they pushed in the first 600 pages of this kitten-crushing brick of garbage.

There was not ONE single outfit that I found to be really good. Maybe the Cavalli dress, but only because he dazzled me with lesbians. Women of the world, be warned: you are about to look fucking dowdy. Also, brain damaged. Sorry about that.

I have never been more grateful to have a penis attached to my body in my entire life.

"Magical Girlfriend"s : Threat or Menace?

2006-07-15T10:25:57Z

Since I barely even look at this journal when I haven't written something new, I missed khyungbird's later comment on my previous post. Sorry about that, Jason. To be fair, I figured I should answer it here, and quote it so people know what I'm answering:

"As the artist of the extraordinarily excellent PERVERT CLUB... what is your opinion on fanservice-heavy romantic comedy comics of the LOVE HINA, VIDEO GIRL AI, etc. vein?

Do you feel that they are sort of a substitute for porn, or that they fulfill an entirely different function? Where do you draw the line? For what matter, which did you get into first?"

I think the "harem" and "magical girlfriend" genres of manga and anime are usually pretty lame, even though that's probably painting with a too-broad brush. But generally, I'm not a fan. I don't think they're necessarily a substitute for pornography, but they share a certain commonality with porn: where porn creates a fantasy of easy sex, "magical girlfriend" shows create a fantasy of easy love. Chobits, Oh! My Goddess, and Video Girl Ai all feature an intensely mediocre male lead that suddenly acquires a woman who loves him instantly, and won't leave him. The Tenchi Muyo, Love Hina etc. series usually have a main female lead, but don't rule out any of the other women being a romantic interest; the male lead essentially has his choice. All of the women are, in a sense, already his. And, by extension, the reader: do you like a certain "type" besides the female lead? Well, here's a bunch of stereotypical female characters, take your pick.

Where I'd draw the line would probably be in the amount of sexually explicit scenes in the series. Which I "got into" first? I'm not certain exactly what that means, but I'd guess porn by a country mile: I was reading sexually-explicit material pretty early in life, and only became aware of "magical girlfriend" shows later. As far as professionally, I drew the "harem" series Pervert Club first, but planned to draw sexually explicit comics before then. My involvement in each essentially came from the same place: dissatisfaction with other material in the genre, and a desire to alter some of the distasteful subtext in it. I can't say I've been exactly successful with either effort. But I continue making the porn because it seems like a "bigger" genre: while you can easily find alternatives to the "harem" genre in manga, porn is practically a medium unto itself. So I continue chiseling away at it.

Or maybe I'm just a twisted freak.

Porno pros and cons.

2006-03-04T14:39:24Z

Porno comics are a strange thing. The general reactions to sexually-explicit comics are either outright dismissal, or extremely quiet consumption. Of course, there's Evan Dorkin's (paraphrased) reaction: "You fucking losers! With the money you spend on this shit you could go get a hooker!" The overall consensus seems to be that porn comics are an embarrassment to comics; something that shouldn't exist but for the presence of malformed homunculi too stupid or pathetic to know they're dragging the entire medium down to their deviant level. How dare they?

I draw porn comics. I also work for a company that wouldn't exist if they didn't publish porn. So I guess it'd be safe to say I'm for porn comics, if not an outright advocate. Even though I draw porn, I'm not an unequivocal flag-waver, though. I'm caught in a cross-fire: if I ever admit porno can be disgusting or dehumanizing, I'm playing into the hands of ultra-conservative types, but if I claim all porn to be beautiful and great I'm endorsing material that sickens me personally. It's basically a no-win situation, which is why I guess no one really talks about the subject.

There are good arguments against pornography. One could argue porn exploits the people appearing in it, but porn comics can sidestep that issue since only the creators are involved. But one argument that does stand is that porn distorts human relations. Porn can reduce people to sexual robots, with no other thoughts or desires outside of pounding ass or eating hot cum. There's no room for anything else; all the expressions of human hope or reality that are the hallmark of good art are forced away. Another argument is that porn is the ultimate vulgarity: in a world that puts a price tag on everything, porn takes an act of intimacy and reduces it to commerce. Porn's also full of bizarre sexual misinformation. Comics are especially guilty of this: since there are no actors to complain, a porn cartoonist can come up with physically impossible scenarios, and the characters will exclaim nothing but joy. Even more horrible in porn comics is the prevalence of the rape fantasy. Where typical porn movies just depict women as moronic whores with the endurance of Hercules, comics still love to trade in the "she didn't want it at first, but learned to love it" cliche. One could argue that's comics' only real advantage in porn: an area where artists can rape, mutilate, and degrade women, and no one will call the police.

But there are good arguments for porn, too. Porn isn't designed for children; it's a fantasy for adults. Adults have experienced sex. Adults know that sex comes in the context of a relationship: you may get blowjobs, but you also have to take out the trash. Adults are aware of the discomfort, the awkwardness, the loneliness that can come hand-in-hand with sex, and they accept it. But they also dream: of sex without attachment, without consequence, without limits. The same way a child might consume the safe, structured world of a superhero comic or Harry Potter book, adults consume porn. In porn as in Potter, the possibilities are limited only by your imagination, and danger only appears in ritualized, distant forms. No one becomes HIV-positive in pornography. Since ritualized fantasy has been the bread-and-butter of comic books for decades now, why wouldn't the audience eventually graduate to sexual fantasies? How could that truly damage the medium?

The commercialization of sex isn't exclusive to pornography, either. Scantily-clad women sell us everything from beer to cars. Romantic comedies feature stories of beautiful people figuring out ways to have sex with each other. And singers like Jessica Simpson, Beyonce Knowles, and Gwen Stefani aren't very hard on the eyes. They don't dress like beekeepers in their videos, either (though that would be totally HOT.) In that light, pornography's just too gauche in its honesty: instead of using sex to sell you deodorant, CDs, or videogames, it just sells you sex. For once, you get what you paid for.

You could argue there's an aesthetic dimension to pornography, too. While it may be true that some people will masturbate to anything, most peoples' sexuality is just as quirky and individualistic as their personalities. There's real effort in finding that particular thing that will actually get someone sexually excited. And creating a piece of art that might expand someone's imagination, could have the potential reader considering other possibilities for pleasure? I would argue that is an achievement. Most obscenity laws are predicated on finding whether a work of art has merit outside of sexual stimulation. I think that sexual stimulation can be an artistic goal in itself. Why not? A pornographic artist must bring an artist's tools to bear: an intriguing concept, a strong visual style, and a clear line of action. A pornographer must communicate: the desire for satisfaction, the heat of bodies joining, the sensation of flesh on flesh. While a fuck book might not be on the same level as an unflinching account of the Holocaust, that doesn't mean it won't qualify as art. I believe people who dismiss porn utterly fail to see any possibilities in it. Sex drives human existence, and while very few porn stories might offer any insight to the human experience that doesn't mean it's impossible. Creating porno is like writing a minuet, or a pop song: within a rigid, self-imposed structure, create as much variation as you can. That technique, that function in itself can create meaning, can create art. Is it a symphony? No, but it doesn't have to be. Reductive, inhumane pornography isn't ALL pornography, it's just bad art.

Depending on which day you catch me, I could feel porn comics are banal and useless garbage, or the last frontier in comic art. But overall, I feel porn comics have a right to exist, and a function in the overall scheme of art. Like most popular culture, it's generally shit. But it also has the potential for greatness.

Off the top of my head...

2006-02-21T12:35:56Z

At Marvel and DC, I can think of two currently-employed women writers: Gail Simone, and Devin Grayson.

At Marvel and DC, I can think of three women pencil/ink artists currently working: Amanda Connor, Colleen Doran, and Pia Guerra.

Marvel and DC combined represent roughly 65% of the American-produced comic book industry.

My personal theory is that the reason comics seem so hostile to women is because, essentially, women's talents are not considered valuable to most of the market. The two dominant publishers don't produce works that would appeal to women. Almost all of the comics they publish feature a very narrow artistic style, so that rules out women who would want to write or draw comics aimed at anyone other than a 12-25 year old male. The overall statement seems to be, "You're welcome to work in comics, as long as you want to write/draw Spider-Man or Batman (in roughly the same style they've always been depicted.)" If that applies to you, congratulations. If not, tough shit on you.

Certainly, there are many female creators in the industry. Many women work for the independent publishers, where the demographics and editorial dictates are not so strict. But remember, the indies only account for about 35% of the industry at BEST. Most comics by women don't even show up at your local comic shop.

And while women might someday become prominent in the English-language manga market, that doesn't really do non-manga comics by women much good, does it?

So what can a female, non-manga artist or writer do in this industry? Either work in the boy's-action idiom, work at the indies for no money, or avoid the medium entirely. There's lots more money in screenwriting and book/magazine illustration, after all...And that's how comics become that much poorer, weaker, and more obsolete.

My point is, the comics industry SEEMS hostile to women because IT ACTUALLY IS. Outside of behavior at conventions, outside of artists' depictions of scantily-clad heroines, comics simply do not value women's work enough. And unless and until the leading publishers begin to expand their published offerings, the industry will continue to stagnate.

Batgirl has a posse.

2006-01-13T23:37:38Z

Alarmingly huge list of pages in the Batgirl meme:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/himynameisjamie/345568.html

Batgirl meme

2006-01-13T09:46:38Z

A tangent to the "sexism in comics" controversy.

2006-01-11T15:43:24Z

Recently, the comics intronets have been abuzz with discussion of the issue of sexism in the industry. I'm glad more attention is being focused on it, because it really seems like a problem to me here in the land of Eternal Junior High. I don't really have the space or inclination to run down the whole discussion, but http://womenincomics.blogspot.com/ is an excellent place to follow the whole discourse in one sitting.

I'm not a woman. I haven't ever witnessed blatant sexual harassment at conventions, and I've never even seen the outside of the Marvel or DC offices. So I have basically no qualifications to talk about this subject, but I'm going to talk anyway. I was issued this "My Opinion is Important" card at the White Male Privilege Clubhouse, and if I don't use it I'll lose my 15% discount on greens fees at the golf course. That's worth like 3 golf balls, and with my wicked slice I need to save all the balls I can. So here's my opinion:

I am totally not surprised things like this happen in comics. The comic industry is predominately male, and full of social maladapts. But it's depressing to see comic book people act like such assholes.

I'm tired of people demanding names in cases like these, because a). you're not a cop, so you don't need to know and b). whenever you do find out names, you sell out the woman immediately. When Colleen Doran told her story of an industry legend pouncing on her in her early career, people reacted with plenty of outrage and "how dare he?"s, but when it came out this industry legend was beloved Father of the Silver Age Julie Schwartz, people suddenly doubted her. "But he did 'Flash of Two Worlds'! He couldn't be a dirty old man!" That's not an exact quote, but it's the gist of what posters were saying. Just because someone wrote a funnybook you liked doesn't make them a good person.

I'm also sick of all the fucking Shining Knights posturing on these message boards. "If anyone ever did that when I was in the room, I'd knock his block off!" BullSHIT. First off, you'd probably just stand there like a pussy, so please drop all the Clark Kent-into-Superman fantasies right now. Second, what the FUCK would that accomplish? It wouldn't help the woman, it wouldn't remove the attacker from a position of power, and it'd probably get you locked up. Basically, your chivalrous male ego would just screw the situation up further. If you REALLY want to help, offer to testify on the woman's behalf. Then actually DO IT. THAT'S how you could make a difference, He-Man. Women don't need saviors, they need supporters.

But hey, I guess well-meaning dumbassery is better than denying it outright. Lots of guys seem to fall over themselves to talk about how since we don't know details, we can't make judgments, he said/she said, etc. etc. and how they can't decide what really happened so they'll stay out of it. You know how you ACTUALLY stay out of it? Don't comment. When you make a big show of being 'rational' and 'skeptical' and 'fair-minded', you don't really add anything to the discussion, and basically seem like another person denying it even happened. There's plenty of voices of doubt already; you don't need to throw in, Solomon. Maybe this post is violating my own rule here, but oh well, the die is cast. But I'm not eyeing any women suspiciously and keening, "Wellll, I don't knowww...." so I figure I'm pretty safe.

And finally, any man that refers to himself as a "gentleman" is really just a patronizing asshole. There, I said it. "Gentleman" is a description OTHER people apply to you; it's a title based on merit. If you claim you are one, you actually aren't. You're probably just about to make some passive-aggressive implication about someone. "I COULD say you're a drug-smoking Communist slut, but I'm too much of a gentleman to say such things." Your little rhetorical three-card monte game is not too difficult to figure out, putz.

Okay, I'm done. Now everyone on the internet shut up for a while.

Outlook Unclear

2005-10-14T12:22:38Z

I was 19 years old, sitting in a dorm room in the University of Texas at Austin, when my life changed.

He said, "I'm thinking of publishing my comic books. I figure I'm not going to get a chance at any other company, so I might as well make my own. Want to get in on it?" I don't remember the exact words, but I remember the sentiment. I also remember the setting, one of the mirror-image dorm rooms of UT, me sitting on one bed and Dean sitting on the opposite, identical bed. Fluorescent lights beaming down on us as Dean Hsieh spoke the opportunity I'd been waiting my whole life to hear.

"Fuck yes!" Maybe I said that, I don't remember. I know that's what I thought, though. I was going to be a comic book artist. A real comic book! Created by me! This is the start of something big!

I wasn't a good artist. I drew sort of like Tatsuya Egawa struck retarded. But at the time, I thought I was The Shit. Why wouldn't people want to read my comics? I'd better come up with something quick...

I decided to go with a throwaway idea. I was getting tired of "harem anime", that genre of lovable everyman surrounded by cute girls exemplified by "Tenchi Muyo" or "Ah! My Goddess". What if the protagonist was weirder than the girls surrounding him? What if the girls were too wrapped up in their own obsessions to even notice him? Somehow, that turned into "Pervert Club", a story about a high-school transvestite and the all-girl club of fetishists that hoped to use him as a pawn to take over the school. To anchor it, I plundered two characters I'd created for a friend's fanzine. I figured it'd be a funny comic, quickly forgotten because within five years, tops, I'd be working for the Big Companies, making the Big Money. I can draw Spider-Man as well as the next shmoe...

I forgot to mention, Dean came from San Antonio. I remember visiting his parents; hard-working, hyper-motivated Taiwanese who owned a restaurant and bankrolled our publishing venture. After visiting SA for the first time, meeting various comic people that lived and worked there, I remember what I said to Dean. "Your parents are cool, but San Antonio fucking SUCKS."

It's ten years later. I live in San Antonio. I work for a comic book company. "Pervert Club" has been reprinted, and I get to sit at a table at cons listening to the same dumbfuck jokes I heard 10 years earlier. (One stupid cosplayer saying to his friend, "Hey [insert stupid cosplayer friend's name here], you should buy this book, since you're a pervert!" They never buy the book if they make that joke.) It's my most commercially successful work, tied with a comic book I drew about a suicidally-depressed rabbit. I make less money per year than a migrant farm worker.

The moral of the story is, you can't know what the future holds. Even when you have a goal that comes true like, "I will be a professional comic book artist", you don't know how that will actually turn out. Maybe you'll become rich. Maybe you'll become famous. But I guarantee you won't accurately predict the exact form that wealth or fame takes. I guarantee you won't predict the idea that people love the most. You might spend ten years creating works that are better written, better drawn and (in your opinion) more commercially viable, but that doesn't mean anyone else will care about them.
Your absolute worst idea, the one you attach no value to whatsoever, might be the one that hits. Your precious babies? The ones you've put your absolute best effort into, your devotion and love and back-breaking labor? People might not give half a shit about.

Don't take this shit lightly. Every single comic book (or OEL manga, call it whatever) you make is important. Nothing you create is disposable, nothing you create is worthless. Don't assume you're just going to get your foot in the door with a throwaway idea. That throwaway might be your best chance. That throwaway might be the thing people love years later, might be the thing that was more important to them than it ever was to you. That throwaway might be the only thing you're ever remembered for.

Don't think I'm being fatalistic here, or being a bitter old man. On a good day, I pretty much still think I'm The Shit. On a bad day, I worry about the fact I have no health insurance. But I haven't given up. I've lived ten years in grinding poverty, I've scrubbed toilets to make ends meet, and I still haven't given up. I still make comics. So don't write me off as bitter. Don't write me off as a has-been or never-was. Because if the stars align, if everything falls into place, I might make a comic that will put you to shame. Because I've eaten so much shit at this point, I've got nothing to lose. And I'm never, ever, ever going to stop making comics.

Don't take anything for granted, because you never know where you're going to wind up.

willworks @ 2005-09-16T22:05:00

2005-09-17T03:06:05Z

Happy Marc Bolan Independence Day!

2005-09-16T23:44:58Z

On this day in 1810, time-traveling wizard MARC BOLAN, THE DESTROYER died playing "Solid Gold Easy Action" from the bell tower of a small church in Hidalgo, giving Mexico its independence from Spain. Spain retaliated by playing David Bowie's "Life On Mars?", but it was too little, too late. From this day forward, Mexico would no longer have to listen to Bowie, Roxy Music, or the Bay City Rollers ever again (after a decade of war).

Viva Marc Bolan! Viva Mexico!

Stupid music meme!

2005-08-22T21:21:30Z

The game is this:

A. Go to http://www.musicoutfitters.com
B. Enter the year you graduated from high school in the search function.
C. Bold for the songs you like, strike through the ones you hate and underline your favorite. Do nothing to the ones you don't remember (or don't care about).

~~1. End Of The Road, Boyz II Men~~
2. Baby Got Back, Sir Mix A-lot
~~3. Jump, Kris Kross~~
~~4. Save The Best For Last, Vanessa Williams~~
5. Baby-Baby-Baby, TLC
~~6. Tears In Heaven, Eric Clapton~~
7. My Lovin' (You're Never Gonna Get It), En Vogue
8. Under The Bridge, Red Hot Chili Peppers
~~9. All 4 Love, Color Me Badd~~
~~10. Just Another Day, Jon Secada~~
~~11. I Love Your Smile, Shanice~~
~~12. To Be With You, Mr. Big~~
13. I'm Too Sexy, Right Said Fred
~~14. Black Or White, Michael Jackson~~
~~15. Achy Breaky Heart, Billy Ray Cyrus~~
~~16. I'll Be There, Mariah Carey~~
~~17. November Rain, Guns N' Roses~~
~~18. Life Is A Highway, Tom Cochrane~~
~~19. Remember The Time, Michael Jackson~~
20. Finally, CeCe Peniston
~~21. This Used To Be My Playground, Madonna~~
~~22. Sometimes Love Just Ain't Enough, Patty Smyth~~
~~23. Can't Let Go, Mariah Carey~~
~~24. Jump Around, House Of Pain~~
25. Diamonds and Pearls, Prince and The N.P.G.
26. Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me, George Michael and Elton John
27. Masterpiece, Atlantic Starr
28. If You Asked Me To, Celine Dion
29. Giving Him Something He Can Feel, En Vogue
30. Live and Learn, Joe Public
31. Come and Talk To Me, Jodeci
32. Smells Like Teen Spirit, Nirvana
33. Humpin' Around, Bobby Brown
~~34. Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover, Sophie B. Hawkins~~
~~35. Tell Me What You Want Me To Do, Teven Campbell~~
36. Ain't 2 Proud 2 Beg, TLC
~~37. It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday, Boyz II Men~~
38. Move This, Technotronic
39. Bohemian Rhapsody, Queen
~~40. Tennessee, Arrested Development~~
~~41. The Best Things In Life Are Free, Luther Vandross and Janet Jackson~~
~~42. Make It Happen, Mariah Carey~~
~~43. The One, Elton John~~
~~44. Set Adrift On Memory Bliss, P.M. Dawn~~
45. Stay, Shakespear's Sister
46. 2 Legit 2 Quit, Hammer
47. Please Don't Go, K.W.S.
48. Breakin' My Heart (Pretty Brown Eyes), Mint Condition
49. Wishing On A Star, Cover Girls
50. She's Playing Hard To Get, Hi-Five
~~51. I'd Die Without You, P.M. Dawn~~
~~52. Good For Me, Amy Grant~~
~~53. All I Want, Toad The Wet Sprocket~~
~~54. When A Man Loves A Woman, Michael Bolton~~
~~55. I Can't Dance, Genesis~~
56. Hazard, Richard Marx
~~57. Mysterious Ways, U2~~
58. Too Funky, George Michael
~~59. How Do You Talk To An Angel, Heights~~
~~60. One, U2~~
61. Keep On Walkin', CeCe Peniston
62. Hold On My Heart, Genesis
63. The Way I Feel About You, Karyn White
64. Beauty and The Beast, Calms Dion and Peabo Bryson
65. Warm It Up, Kris Kross
66. In The Closet, Michael Jackson
~~67. People Everyday, Arrested Development~~
68. No Son Of Nine, Genesis
~~69. Wildside, Marky Mark and The Funky Bunch~~
70. Do I Have To Say The Words?, Bryan Adams
71. Friday I'm In Love, Cure
~~72. Everything About You, Ugly Kid Joe~~
~~73. Blowing Kisses In The Wind, Paula Abdul~~
~~74. Thought I'd Died and Gone To Heaven, Bryan Adams~~
75. Rhythm Is A Dancer, Snap
76. Addams Groove, Hammer
~~77. Missing You Now, Michael Bolton~~
78. Back To The Hotel, N2Deep
79. Everything Changes, Kathy Troccoli
~~80. Have You Ever Needed Somone So Bad, Def Leppard~~
81. Take This Heart, Richard Marx
82. When I Look Into Your Eyes, Firehouse
83. I Wanna Love You, Jade
84. Uhh Ahh, Boyz II Men
85. Real Love, Mary J. Blige
86. Justified and Ancient, The KLF
~~87. Slow Motion, Color Me Badd~~
88. What About Your Friends, TLC
89. Thinkin' Back, Color Me Badd
90. Would I Lie To You?, Charles and Eddie
~~91. That's What Love Is For, Amy Grant~~
92. Keep Coming Back, Richard Marx
93. Free Your Mind, En Vogue
94. Keep It Comin', Keith Sweat
95. Just Take My Heart, Mr. Big
~~96. I Will Remember You, Amy Grant~~
97. We Got A Love Thang, CeCe Peniston
~~98. Let's Get Rocked, Def Leppard~~
99. They Want EFX, Das EFX
~~100. I Can't Make You Love Me, Bonnie Raitt~~

willworks @ 2005-08-19T19:28:00

2005-08-20T00:29:05Z

Happy Birthday, Chynna!

Bum fights!

2005-08-16T11:47:48Z

The internet's a strange place. If you read my journal, you'd think I was the world's biggest asshole, pontificating like a brain-damaged Dr. Doom in size extra-husky armor. (And you'd be right, accursed FOOL! I make no groveling apologies to the likes of YOU!) I've written plenty of stuff in my years in the industry that make me seem like an arrogant prick, so I guess I am one. I don't mean to be. I just get all hopped up on the vast cosmic injustice inflicted on the exalted medium of comic books (surely the greatest and most important of art forms, take that music! Woo, burrrnn!). Then, the internet just lets me make a fool of myself, like that teetotaler friend that tells you when you're drunk, "Yes, it's a good idea to show your balls to that police officer." Sorry officer. I was just passing through when my zipper fell open all by itself...

But even though I walk through the internet with my e-dick hanging out all sloppy, I at least feel like the things I'm saying are fundamentally reasonable. Like Dudley Moore's Arthur, I at least have a limousine of knowledge to cart my stupid net-drunk ass around. I talk a lot of shit, but it's only to attempt to make my point, not to insult people personally or demonize anyone. Unfortunately, the point usually gets obscured in the sideshow.

I've seen a lot of sideshow the past few weeks on the internet. And I think I know how it works now. Basically, someone makes some extremist declaration somewhere. People who then agree with said viewpoint then champion it all around, using it as a stalking-horse to advance some agenda they hold. The opposition lines up to convert it into a straw man, then both sides watch what happens like spectators at a bum fight. Who gets the sandwich?

I've had it happen with my own posts. Last year's San Diego Con report could basically be summed up as, "The two major American companies are facing lots of competition from other media sources and manga, and have not adjusted their publishing strategies adequately to capitalize on this. Artists should take this as an opportunity." Wow, that sounds like a marketing report or something! Good thing I wrote it with a lot of fuck-words in it, so it could be easily translated into, "Superhero comics are fuckin' old an' outdated and go to bed, old man and manga fuckin' WROKKKS (loud guitar noise)!" I got plenty of new friends who I don't know, that I've never spoken to once in either real life or online. Basically, people who don't know me from Adam, who were just lining up to see the fate of the sandwich. Wonder why I didn't write a Con report this year?

Anything I write online will just get turned into the idiot version of what I'm trying to say, which means I must be idiotic. And that's the thing that brings people around, so hooray! But the heart of the matter is saying stupid shit on the internet does not actually accomplish anything. Fucking around on messageboards is not the same as drawing a comic. Posting incoherent screeds is not publishing, and does not establish you as a force in the industry. You might become slightly more visible momentarily, but that's just because you're the latest gladiator in the hobo arena. It doesn't mean you've "arrived."

Whether a person has a career in comics depends on how much work that person actually finishes. Keep your eyes on the target. Talking about how "you're the young generation, and you've got something to say", or drawing comics about how it's Totally Radical Awesome to Draw Comics doesn't actually add up to anything. This cuts across all the various creator tribes, whether superhero, indie, or OEL manga. Most of you spend too much time congratulating each other on your coolness and not enough time learning your craft. I'm not saying this to dis you, or to position myself as superior. I'm saying this because you'd better start studying, because you will be tested on this. And that test comes in the form of your livelihood. If you don't get better, if you don't learn and grow, you'll be forgotten like all the other bums. And I think I can say this to you, because I'm just as much of a loudmouth bum as you, and I ain't got shit. Like James Brown said, "Talkin' loud ain't sayin' nothin'."

So, basically, shut the fuck up and get back to work. I will if you will!

"Cretin Hop" character designs

2005-06-29T01:23:54Z

Oni Press is currently running a talent search. At Comic Con International: San Diego, artists can try out using one of four scripts provided at the link. Artists can also send in submission packets, and creative teams with a project proposal can give it to Oni at the show. Of course, it's only 2 weeks away, so if you haven't started now, you're probably screwed. Better get crackin'.

I like to work on character designs when I'm sketching, and I have the most fun when I'm working from a description. It helps me visualize a character, and if I don't have something to work with, about half the time I just wind up drawing Wonder Woman. So even though I'm not trying out, I decided to do character sketches of the characters from Chynna Clugston and Ian Shaunessy's script for the Oni Talent Search, "Cretin Hop".

Here's a picture of the two main characters. I tried to nerd them up a little bit so they wouldn't come off like judgmental pricks. The script is written in such a way as they could come off as either that or naive depending on the artist's choices; I'd try to work it so they came off more innocent.

Various sketches of people/events in the script. My geek license will be revoked any day now, since I can't draw a Klingon or Jedi. That's what drawing Wonder Woman all day gets you. The Jessica character is giving me helpful artistic advice, and you can see the three-hole punch of the sketch page. High Class.

Picture pages, picture pages...

2005-06-27T10:49:36Z

...lots of fun with picture pages.

Lots of fun with crayons and with pencils.

When I'm not being a screeching bitchface about comics, I sometimes draw them! Comics, I mean. Not screeching bitchfaces.

I drew a picture of Velma Dinkley from "Scooby-Doo"! She's dreamy.

Okay, it's not really comics, just a shitty pencil sketch I threw like 3 different opacity layers on in Photoshop. But hey, at least I'm not just some random asshole whining about comics. I'm a random asshole that can almost draw Scooby-Doo characters.

More tomorrow! Or not, whichever.

So, what do you REALLY feel, guys?

2005-06-26T06:54:40Z

Okay, another weird thing I noticed going to the movies:

DC Comics has a new logo animation to put in front of the movies and such, just like Marvel does. And just like Marvel, it's made up of a bunch of rapid images from the comics. Only it's a little bit different:

We open on a bunch of dots, like the Benday dots of a comic page. Light shoots up through the dots, reminding us of video pixels, before we zoom out and back to form a picture plane.

Light begins flickering through the dots, opening up to form comic book images.

The first image we see is a close-cropped shot of a woman's face, her eyes wide in terror.

The next image visible is a man's head, his eyes narrowed slits, his jaw clenched in a teeth-baring grimace.

The final image is a close up of a man's clenched fist, sailing through the air to land a haymaker punch.

We close on a black screen with the new swirls-n-star DC Comics logo.

Now, I'm no Scott McCloud, but you play comic book panels to me like that, I start connecting them together. And it reads like a guy beating up a woman. Maybe the logo is the fourth panel of that little story? The same comic symbol for unconsciousness that Bluto has floating around his head after Popeye gives him a spinach-powered concussion?

Maybe this should be the final logo image?

Aw, what the hell, I'm feeling generous. I made a cover for your next Batman comic, DC. No need for payment, helping others is thanks enough:

Movie time!

2005-06-25T07:05:22Z

A friend of mine came up to me the other day after seeing "Batman Begins". He had apparently taken quiet umbrage with my flesh-tearing screed on "Sin City". My point wasn't that if you liked "Sin City" on any level that you were stupid. Only that if you liked it as a serious adult drama you were VERY POSSIBLY stupid. And if you thought that it brought dignity and respect to the medium of comics, then yeah, you're a complete dumbfuck.

"You know, after seeing Batman, then hearing the way people were talking about it, I think I know what you meant."

There are some ideas that just won't die in comicbookdom. One is that arguing whether one superhero could beat up another is fun, another is that comics would sell millions if they were a dollar each, and a third is that a movie is the ultimate seal of acceptance and popularity. I don't know where that last one comes from, since we've had blockbuster movies based on comics for decades now, and comic sales have only gone down. So when people who should know better act like a movie about explosions is going to turn the whole world into fanatical readers, I get sad inside my heart.

I realize now that when I got into comics, I inadvertently enrolled in Permanent Junior High School, so I'll break it down in those terms: No matter how much Comics tries to hide behind the big kid of Movies in the dodgeball game of entertainment, it's still going to wind up with balls in its face. You'll never win like that. Stop displaying such a massive inferiority complex toward your chosen medium, you fucking pussy.

I have three arguments against people who get all starry-eyed over comic book movies:

1. It's a movie, 99% of the people who see it have forgotten every second by the time they've pissed away their $4 soda. It's not the start of some great dynasty, it's the end of a franchise. It's a one-way street that leads AWAY from comic books.

2. The medium of film might be a close cousin to comics, but it's not the same, and the act of watching a film is completely different than the act of reading a comic. Each medium can do certain things better than the other, and a person who's interested in one might not be interested in the other.

3. It is a fucking movie about BATMAN you fucking TOOL. (If arguing about "Sin City", replace the word "Batman" with the words "hookers and Uzis".)

P.S.: I saw "Batman Begins" and really liked it, despite the doofy MacGuffin Machine. It's a real good Batman movie, so if you want some Bat-related entertainment I'd recommend it. I'm not lactating rainbows over it, though.

DVD meme

2005-05-28T17:19:23Z

[1] Total number of films I own on DVD/video:

VHS: 7, by my count: Ghost in the Shell, Blade Runner, The "Street Fighter" movie series, Hard Boiled and The Killer. All back at my parent's home, since I wore them out.
DVD: 47, I think. 12 of which are seasons of either "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" or "Angel".

[2] The last film I bought:

Wait, actually bought with my own money? Didn't get as a gift? Hmm....ummm... Wait, I know this... Oh, I'll just say it was season seven of Buffy. Everything else since then has been bought for me through one circumstance or another.

[3] The last film I watched:

Revenge of the Sith like everyone else, duh. No, I mean...that new Wong Kar-Wai movie! 2525 or whatever! See? I'm a cultured cineaste, just like you! Interested in movies where people have affairs and stare intensely into cameras! I'm not a mall-going suburban drone!

[4] Five films that I watch a lot or that mean a lot to me:

Star Wars "Episodes 4-6" (Chinese Bootleg--I mean, "Original Theatrical" versions)
Citzen Kane (Just because someone lists this doesn't mean they're being pretentious. Stop whining.)
Taxi Driver (Are you talking to me?)
Scarface (1980 Mountain of Cocaine version)
Rocky Horror Picture Show (I'm the only person that doesn't yell shit)

[5] Finally, tag five people to do this meme:

I don't think anyone else should have to participate in this nerd-dick measuring contest. "Whee! Look how much money I spent on movies! Obviously I am a TRUFAN of the bold medium of cinema!"

What the fuck is wrong with all of you?

2005-04-13T13:16:50Z

Okay, once again the Angel Alcohol has visited the Gentry Allison, so I start posting insanely ranty shit in my livejournal that I regret upon morning's light. So here's a thing that has started to bother me for a couple of weeks:

You DO know that "Sin City" is a totally dogshit movie, right?

Do you know the feeling of being the only guy laughing in a movie theater? Because I sure as shit do. It happened during "Sin City" a few times. Marv getting run over by the car. Dwight jumping off the building. Michael Madsen acting. Holeee Shit, it was like the Ringling Brothers breezed into town and I was the only one invited. I was cracking the fuck up, apparently everyone else was watching "Saving Private Ryan". I'm sorry, movie-going audience; I ruined your oh-so-serious filmic masterpiece by recognizing its retarded hilarity.

Now, before I start the anus-ripping, I better put my prejudices out into the light of day. I think the "Sin City" comics aren't exactly brilliant, either. The first time I came across a page that was basically one big panel with a six-inch column of narration down the left side, I pretty much whistled low and said, "Fuck yoooou, buddy." I actually said to myself back in '92 or whenever, "Holy Shit, if you said these words out loud you would sound like an idiot!" Oh boy. Was I ever right. However, I do think "Sin City" is Frank Miller's masterpiece. It is Miller boiled down to his essential: tough men, and deadly yet sexually-available women. It's superheroes without the spandex, so stupidly over-the-top that you basically throw up your hands and say, "That Miller! He a crazy guy!"

I give Miller some sort of comic-book ghetto pass. His writing is shit. His approach to male-female relations make 13-year-old boys look precocious. However, his staging of action sequences is brilliant, and his use of chiaroscuro in "Sin City" knocks my fucking socks off. The man knows how to fucking cartoon a comic book page. Dear Frank Miller: I love you and hate you, and won't buy "Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder" because it's drawn by Jim Lee, and he's boring. You are never boring, even when you suck terribly bad. Like Dark Knight 2.

The problem is that Frank Miller's brilliant drawings aren't in the film, except the opening credits. People hold this film up like it's a fucking banner, saying, "It's the most faithful comic book movie ever!" You know what? Yes, it is faithful to a Catholic degree. It's still a fucking brick-stupid movie. "Faithful" does not equal "Good". Who gives a shit if it's just like the book? The ultimate question is: Does it work? Is it good in its medium?

I hold to Stanley Kubrick. Kubrick made movies; he didn't give a fuck if he was faithful to the source material. "The Shining" is a fucking tedious book; it's a terrifying movie. Alternately, "A Clockwork Orange" is one of the most chilling books I've ever read. The movie is the darkest comedy I've ever watched. Both are great, and I'd hold up both as great examples of their respective medium. The movie does not conform to the book in any sense. Fuck it! Who cares? It's a great movie, and I still have the book to compare.

"Sin City" the movie is poor meat compared to the comics. It's pedantically literal. The time I felt the movie really rose above was the scene with Dwight and Jack in the car, where Dwight actually started speaking his hard-boiled narration out loud. That weirdo touch lifted it, told us that yes, this movie is fucking over the top. We are going to play it for its over-the-topness, and you are going to love it. There were other things I liked: Mickey Rourke's scenery-devouring performance, despite his puppety makeup. Elijah Wood's scary fucking kung-fu bad-assness. Carla Gugino's totally awesome nudity, which was so great I thought it was computer-assisted. Rosario Dawson, period. I am so predisposed to Rosario Dawson that I watched "Men In Black 2" and "Josie and the Pussycats" multiple times, so maybe that shouldn't count. Robert Rodriguez? Hell, I haven't seen a movie of his I DIDN'T like, plus he's from Texas so I'm legislationally mandated to think he's the next Orson Welles anyhow. Still, "Sin City" was fucking terrible.

This really isn't a problem though, since I love fucking terrible movies. "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls"? Holy shit, it's awesome. "Buckaroo Banzai"? "Big Trouble in Little China"? "Robocop'? Fuck yes, where are the DVD Criterion Collections, bitch? Me thinking a movie is fucking god-awful does not mean I won't want to own that movie and watch it at any given time. I'm the guy that bought a copy of "Escape from New York" before he bought "Citizen Kane" after all, it's not like I'm Captain Artsnob. So don't be surprised if you find "Sin City" residing along my DVD shelf along with "Down with Love" and "X-Men 1.5". I love me a shitty movie, and hoo boy, "Sin City" looks like it's going to be a fucking classic for the ages. A Shining Golden Monument of crap that I will cherish to my dying day.

My problem comes with people who are apparently too brain-damaged or politically-minded to call a turd a turd. That "only guy laughing in the theater" feeling I was talking about? I got a strange sense of deja vu when I came across other nerds' reaction to the movie. "It was really...just like the comics!" "I liked it, because it looked JUST like the comics!" "It's Great! Just like the comics!" Holy Shit, is all of Comicdom brain-stupid? Yes, I acknowledge it is just like the comics. No, I do not think that makes it good. Did you all have your thinking parts removed? Did my cat replace your brains with his still-steaming butt droppings? Because if you think this is a good movie in the traditional sense of the word, that's all I can conclude. Here's a tip, Comic Book Cheerleader: "Sin City" will not legitimatize comics as a medium. People will not flood out of the theater "getting" comics. They will not realize suddenly that comics are the most fucking leet medium invented by human hand that we all know it to be. They'll walk out of the theater thinking things like, "Weren't Carla Gugino's breasts fucking incredible? What was up with Clive Owen's lame-ass accent? In addition, why all the castrations? Isn't three a couple too many?" What the fuck is wrong with Comic Book People, that they're always waiting for this catalyst moment? And why do they always look to fucking motion pictures to give it to them? Why not instead, and I don't know maybe this is crazy talk, make MORE fucking comic books? And why do you feel the need to champion a CGI-soaked, overbudgeted fan-film as the vanguard of comic-to-film adaptations?

This is the real nut of my complaint with "Sin City", the fact that nerds spaz on it like it's the greatest thing since flavored vodka. Am I the only one out there that don't think it's some kind of slice of celluloid gold? Am I the only one that thinks it's closer to Paul Verhoeven than Alfred Hitchcock? Yes, it is visually impressive, though not as much as you all make it out to be. Yes, it is well cast, though many of the actors sleepwalk through their roles. Yes, it's just like the comics, though the comics tend to have plot holes that can only be described as gaping.

In conclusion, stop acting like "Sin City" is anything other than a camp masterpiece.

That old comics meme.

2005-03-04T00:28:04Z

Okay, so Alan David Doane did a post based on an old Fred Hembeck strip, listing "100 things you love about comics". And it became a bit of a meme thing, people listing 100 things. This was back in the ancient times of, what a month or two ago?

So the other day me and Elin were puttering about town on errands, and talking about it. "100 things? I couldn't think of a hundred things. I can think of two: 1. words, 2. pictures." Then, I started thinking: could I come up with a hundred things? It seemed like a Herculean task, one that would take days.

Apparently, it only took a couple of hours. I made this list to remind myself why I still do it. I could think of more, but 100 is already too big a number.

1. The way narrative is carried by images, instead of words alone.
2. They can be made by one person.
3. The untapped potential, creatively and commercially.
4. Kryptonite Dog.
5. Dan DeCarlo's Veronica Lodge.
6. Lois Lane's emotions, drawn by Kurt Schaffenberger.
7. That they can cross international cultures almost effortlessly.
8. The composition of black and white on an Alex Toth page.
9. Diabolik's eyebrows.
10. Jaime Hernandez. Everything he's ever done.
11. "Little Nemo in Slumberland" by Windsor McCay.
12. "American Flagg"'s dense typography.
13. "Watchmen" by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons.
14. Their honesty, even when the author is trying to lie to you.
15. The loose sexiness of Milo Manara's art.
16. The way a panel border can completely change the tone of an image.
17. Speed lines.
18. "Face it, Tiger... you just hit the jackpot!"
19. Devil Man.
20. Hank Ketcham's line work.
21. Milt Caniff's line work.
22. Charles Burns' line work.
23. "Flex Mentallo" by Grant Morrison and Frank Quitely.
24. If you leave the dialogue's punctuation off in a balloon, it reads like a blurted-out declaration.
25. Hobbes leaping.
26. "It's risky, but I get my laughs."
27. Tatsuya Egawa's pacing.
28. "Jimbo" by Gary Panter.
29. "Ice Haven" by Dan Clowes.
30. Batgirl and Supergirl.
31. "Miss Jimmy Olsen"
32. Emma Frost, for fucking up my sexuality.
33. Yukito Kishiro's ability to depict movement.
34. Laying down the perfectly appropriate ink line. (It happens so rarely.)
35. Starting one (reading).
36. Finishing one (drawing).
37. Hostess Fruit Pie ads.
38. People can't judge a creator on her age, race, sex, nationality, or beauty. Because you can't see those things on a page, only the skill. It doesn't matter if you act like a rock star if your comics suck.
39. Neil Gaiman's "Sandman".
40. Alan Moore.
41. "Dirty Plotte" by Julie Doucet.
42. Teenage girls reading manga.
43. Comic Con International.
44. Weisinger's "Superman".
45. Prez.
46. "Achewood" by Chris Onstad.
47. "Get Your War On" by Dave Rees.
48. Evan Dorkin's Eltingville stories.
49. "Maus" by Art Spiegelman.
50. Krazy Kat.
51. Alan Moore's "Miracleman".
52. "Maison Ikkoku" by Rumiko Takahashi.
53. "Let's Go! Inachu Ping-pong Club" by Minoru Furuya.
54. Going to a warehouse sale, and buying terrible comics by the pound.
55. Gilbert Hernandez's "Birdland".
56. That Gilbert Hernandez took the characters from "Birdland" and put them in "Love and Rockets".
57. Tijuana Bibles.
58. Osamu Tezuka.
59. Austin Books.
60. Drawing something cartoony in one panel, and representationally in the next.
61. That manga is not only lifting the comic book industry, but also the entire book market.
62. Designing a character's costume.
63. Stapling together your last mini-comic, then looking at the whole pile.
64. Spider-Man lifting the machinery off his back.
65. Trunks chopping up a guy with a sword, then blowing up the pieces.
66. Kakihara from "Koroshiya Ichi".
67. doujinshi.
68. Moebius' "Incal".
69. "The Cowboy Wally Show" by Kyle Baker.
70. "Sam and Max" by Steve Purcell.
71. Wally Wood rapelling down a building to steal back his original art.
72. Chynna Clugston's "Blue Monday".
73. "Lampo, The Hypersonic Boy" by Tetsuro Ueyama.
74. "The Checkered Demon" by S. Clay Wilson
75. Raw magazine
76. "Coochy Cooty Men's Comix" by Robert Williams
77. "Maakies" by Tony Millionaire
78. Drinky Crow
79. Nekojiru's cats
80. Junko Mizuno's art
81. "Flash Facts"
82. Rom: Spaceknight
83. Harvey Kurtzman's storytelling.
84. "The Spirit" by Will Eisner
85. The strobe effect in B. Krigstein's "The Master Race"
86. Maurice Vellekoop's comics.
87. "We'll show them, Jimmy. We'll show them we loved him best of all."
88. Zatanna's fishnets
89. Takashi Nemoto's "Future Sperm Brazil"
90. Suehiro Maruo's manga
91. Jack Kirby's Fourth World
92. Galactus
93. Masamune Shirow randomly drawing porn into his stories, then self-consciously editing it out of later editions.
94. "Small Favors" by Colleen Coover with Paul Tobin
95. Spider-Man's costume
96. The Brotherhood of Dada
97. Adam Hughes' rough sketches
98. "Kamen Rider" by Shotaro Ishinomori.
99. Range Murata's industrial design
100. Comics will never be 'respectable'.

Japanese Quicktime scramble!

2005-02-24T12:32:54Z

I was cruising around the Japanese Quicktime trailers site, to check out the new Tetsujin 28 live-action trailer. While I was there, I noticed something:

The Japanese movie market kinda sucks.

Okay, that was a little glib. It's not like it really "sucks", per se, it's just bizarre to me. Living in ultra-insulated Los Estados Unidos, being reminded of how much culture we export is something of a shock. The Japanese film market is dominated by American movies. (Actually, I suspect every film market besides India is dominated by American movies, but it's a Japanese site I was on.) This point was really driven home by clicking on random links. I'd click on an unfamiliar title, expecting a Japanese film, only to find out it was some movie I already knew. Can you guess the film only by its title, without clicking the links? The answers will be behind a cut. Also, one of these movies isn't American, but was released in America.

Divorce Show

Mr. Incredible

Crisis Of America

Kimi Ni Yomu Monogatari

Lovers

New Orleans Trial

"Divorce Show" = "Intolerable Cruelty". "Mr. Incredible" = "The Incredibles". "Crisis Of America" = "The Manchurian Candidate". "Kimi Ni Yomu Monogatari" = "The Notebook". "Lovers" = "House of Flying Daggers". "New Orleans Trial" = "Runaway Jury".

that damn music meme

2005-02-13T13:58:27Z

Anyway, my boss put me up to this music meme, so here we go. Plus, first post in like four months. Whee.

1. Total amount of music files on your computer:

927 songs, 2.3 days, 4.06 GB

2. The last CD you bought was:

The entire Blackalicious back-catalog off iTunes.

3. What is the song you last listened to before reading this message?

"Baby's On Fire", by Brian Eno.

4. Write down 5 songs you often listen to or that mean a lot to you.

Pixies, "Break My Body"
Le Tigre, "My Art"
Joy Division, "Insight"
Public Enemy, "Fight the Power"
Iggy & The Stooges, "Search & Destroy"

5. Everyone rolls their own question on this, so I'm going to ask myself:
What are the five greatest hip-hop groups of all time?

Public Enemy
Eric B. & Rakim
Run-DMC
N.W.A.
Blackalicious

6. Who are you going to pass this stick to? (3 persons) and why?

matthigh, jetbaby, and destroyerzooey; I always wondered what their tastes in music were.

Which side of the fence are you on?

2004-10-13T11:41:43Z

I've got about a pint of dark rum in me, and I'm ready to punch the whole WORLD'S lights out. So please, bear with me.

I've been thinking about comics again. Specifically, American comics versus Japanese comics. Basically, American comics suck. This is a very simplified statement, of course, but I think it bears out. American comics are simply not pulling their weight as a medium. Around eighty percent of the Direct Market is taken up by Marvel and DC. That means that the majority of English-language comics are about superheroes.

Now, I love me some superheroes. To a disturbing fault, if my pornographic drawings of Batgirl are any indication. What I DON'T love is the preponderance of superhero comics in the English-language marketplace. Frankly, they are terrible. If killing Sue Dibny and having Gwen Stacy fuck Green Goblin are the best you can think up, don't bother me. If this inveterate corpse-raping is all you can come up with, please don't expect me to read. Shit, even Joss Whedon brought back Colossus, so all fucking bets are off. As much as I love "Buffy" and "Angel", Whedon writing "X-Men" is a fucking waste. Don't expect me to buy your trips down memory lane. I want something NEW, and I want it RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

Artists like Will Eisner, Jack Kirby, Gil Kane, Alex Toth, and Joe Kubert didn't love comic book characters. THEY LOVED COMICS. They didn't give a fuck about what came before; they created new things. They blended art and entertainment. They had high hopes. So why the fuck are you SHAMING them by treading the same ground they walked before you? You should hang your fucking heads, with your bitchy Avengers revamps and your cross-overs. You should be fucking ASHAMED.

Which brings me, very messily, to Japanese comics. I'm not going to pretend all Japanese comics are high Art. But I'm talking about entertainment, which most Japanese comics exemplify perfectly. They didn't happen overnight, but they did happen; on a scale which American comics would envy. Sure, there are the Shonen Jump manga that are barely-altered versions of the "boy makes friends to fight evil" story. I'd argue that even in those ultra-similar series, there's more variety than in mainstream superhero books. Shit, a series like "Gintama" looks fucking revolutionary in its addressing of modern-Japanese malaise and alternate-history outrage. It beats the fuck out of American revamps, which culminate in a Captain America saying, "Do you think this 'A' stands for 'France'?"

Fuck Captain America. In order to save the Captain we must kill him. I'm sorry; I know you're all crying that you won't get to read that new story about him fighting the Red Skull for possession of the Cosmic Cube. You'll have to console yourself with the dozen other stories where he did that. I hate to tell you, but American comics need new stories. Captain America don't cut it anymore.

We're approaching Crisis Point in American comics. By most measures, Japanese comics are SLAUGHTERING American comics in sales. Sure, the old American comics are comfortable money-spinners, but they're OLD. They're out of touch, despite their quipping and widescreening and decompressing. They are dinosaurs, they just don't see the meteor in the atmosphere.

But in America, Japanese comics are New and Shiny. Despite being pretty played out in their country of origin, manga have ravaged other comic book cultures. China. Korea. Vietnam. France. Argentina. You think you're so tough, America? You think Spider-Man is going to save your ass? You're fucking deluded. Manga has shit bigger than you, buddy.

But I don't want to think negatively about things. I think of it as a parallel to the way rock music invaded the United Kingdom: a foreign influence that will lead to incredible innovation. If we're very, very lucky, Manga will be our Stooges, New York Dolls, and Ramones: the art that immediately lead to our very own Punk Rock. If we're unlucky, manga will be our Chuck Berry, Link Wray, and Bill Haley: the new thing that was awkwardly imitated for years until artists aspired to more. I'm hoping the former.

Superhero comics are our Arena Rock: the formerly rebellious, now safe and pompous art that people consume with deep dissatisfaction. Most American industry professionals are as cynical and heartless as session musicians: sucking up to editors at San Diego Comic Con in order to land that sweet X-Men gig. Like the old Westwood shirt quipped: "Which side of the fence are you on?" Are you just going to try and land the best-paying job, cobbing off your favorite old Marvel comic or mangaka, or are you going to try and create something new? Think carefully...

American comics need radicalized entertainment. They need comics that don't follow the norm, but still seek to inspire and entertain. They need Punk Rock; something you can dance to, something that strips it down and makes it plain. Artists like Chynna Clugston, Bryan O'Malley, Sam Hiti, and Colleen Coover are keeping it real; what's your excuse? Which side of the fence are you on?

We need new comics. We need new talents, with new ideas. This isn't Art versus Commercialism; it's Pop Art, hitting so hard and fast that people can't help but confront it. As far as American comics go, the big companies aren't going to get it; it's up to the indies to create the new noise. This period of stagnation is our greatest opportunity; are you going to wait around for your chance to work on Captain America, or are you going to go full-bore into a new era?

Let's not all sit around while we watch the Japanese take over the industry. Let's create the New Comics. Let's dazzle and amaze. Let's make people laugh and cry and gasp.

Because if we don't, the Japanese will do it for us, and why should they have all the fun?

Random thinking

2004-08-20T07:49:45Z

I am now, undeniably, an adult. By my reckoning, I would have a wife, child, and middle-class job at this point. Of course life hasn't quite turned out like that. I don't really feel like an adult man, maybe because my lifestyle is really much closer to that of a severely introverted high-school dropout. I always feel like at some point I'll wake up one day, realize I'm late for school, and have to go take a test. Does that feeling ever go away? I assume if I had a real life, it would be replaced with "write a memo" or "go to the kid's Parent/Teacher night". Ah, c'est la vie. I'm not complaining; these are the choices I made with my existence.

I spent a full hour the other day daydreaming about how to make "Green Lantern" not suck. I think just about anyone reading this message can see on the face of it how futile this is. I could have spent that time more productively by engaging in actual hand-to-dick masturbation; that at least ends with a result. (Though one you'd want to dispose of immediately.) Even though I truly like the idea of superhero comics and am "Gay For Superman" (patent pending), thinking about superheroes is about the most fruitless endeavor in all of Creativeland. ESPECIALLY ones owned by big companies, because the chance of actually writing for them is tiny, and the chance of writing what you imagined even smaller. Of course, if you love Green Lantern, have at it and enjoy fully. I'm not here to judge or begrudge. I just felt like a dipshit for even bothering, is all.

Ah, I guess it's the nature of creativity. Though my last hot-faced and propagandistic rant had some people teasing me about my lack of actual comics output, I still do actually work at it. I try to come up with projects, I try to assemble stories and art. For the most part, nothing comes of it, but that doesn't mean I'm not still thinking. Of course, lots of times this just leads me down blind alleys. How I wound up thinking about Green Lantern, I couldn't tell you, but I'm sure it was a pretty non-linear voyage. This is the nature of the process, I guess.

Once when I was younger and more callous, some gormless young fella came up and, I shit you not, asked me where I got my ideas. Being trapped in the San Diego Convention Center for a week on almost no sleep and having eaten nothing but caffeine that day, I proceeded to tell him about a post office box in Cleveland I mailed off to. When I'm bullshitting I can be perfectly straight-faced, so either this kid was able to give as good as he got, or he bought the story whole-hog. The point is, I acted like a total cock that day and gave some poor fucker some shit when he was just trying to find his way like any of us.

So, here we go, poor fucker. Here's the real answer: I daydream. I just sort of let my mind drift and play connect the dots. Most of the time it rebounds off something I read, or something I saw. "Wouldn't it be cool if, instead of...?" "What would happen?" These are the questions I tend to ask myself. Eventually, the questions then turn to "Well, how would it happen?" or "Why would they do that?" Voila, you're hip-deep in a story.

But there's a couple of tricks to it: don't think about stuff you LOVE. You're already so entranced by it, do you really think you're going to do it better? Maybe, but in all likelihood, you're just going to imitate it. Instead, try thinking about stuff you HATE, or at least don't think too much about. Why don't you like it? What would have to change for it to be enjoyable? You're already on your way.

Also, don't just run the track of looking at anime, video games, action comics, and genre movies for your inspiration. These things are so incestuous, they swap ideas like European aristocrats swap hemophilia. Don't limit yourself to what the familiar "rules" are for those media. Instead, look at other stuff. History, classic films, classic novels, the people you know. Open up those analytical daydreams to everything around you. Sure, reading "The Great Gatsby" might not help you come up with the next multimedia pop-culture sensation, but you never know. All I'm saying is, be open to the world.

It sounds like work, doesn't it? It isn't. If you're enjoying yourself, the ideas will flow... if you're not, I guess you'll get stuck thinking about Green Lantern or something. Having great passion won't make you a great artist, but you can't be a great artist WITHOUT great passion. Find some.

Anyway, I doubt Poor Fucker is reading my blog, and I especially doubt that anyone ELSE reading it needs this advice. But, to an adult man who's been doing this for ten years and seems to make fewer comics each one, maybe it'll be a good reminder.